Tuesday, April 28, 2009

American Idol, Top 5

This week's show will be called "The One Where Paula Forgot to Finish Sewing Her Dress". Seriously, what was up with that dress? If anyone needed a hanky anytime tonight, they could have just reached over and plucked one from Paula's dress.

Jamie Foxx was the mentor for the Rat Pack night. Huh? I have a hard time taking him seriously because every time I see him, all I can think about is Wanda on In Living Color. And if you don't know what I'm talking about, check this out... But first, a warning, Coke could spew from your nose if you happen to be drinking one while watching this. Just sayin'.

Kris Allen started the show with "The Way You Look Tonight". This boy knows who he is as a performer, although someone should tell him his tie bar was a bit high. It looked strange while he was performing, but then when he was standing next to Ryan (who was rocking the tie bar, by the way) it looked really odd. And thanks to Ryan for questioning Simon on that whole "wet" comment. I thought surely I had heard him wrong. Alas, no. Apparently, sitting next to Paula every week has finally gotten to him. It was bound to happen.

I kinda felt like I wasn't going to like Allison singing "Someone to Watch Over Me". I love this song and it reminds me of Mr. Holland's Opus, which is a movie I adore. And I was right. I didn't really care for her rendition. But for once, I wasn't confused by her outfit. Oh well. Allison and I just can't seem to get on the same page.

On the flip side, I thought I would really like Matt doing "Funny Valentine". It seemed right up his alley. But it didn't do much for me. I don't pretend to know a whole bunch about music, but dude, he wasn't quite hitting all the right notes. But, boy howdy, the make-up folks did a fine job on him. Y'all, he wasn't the least bit shiny, and you know those lights are hot. Looking for the positive spin, peeps, that's what I'm all about.

Bravo to Danny for being able to sing with Jamie Foxx all up in his face. I couldn't have done it. I am all about personal space. Don't mess with mine, and I won't mess with yours. I won't charge you any extra for that little tidbit. I saw a whole 'nother side of Danny tonight with "Come Rain or Come Shine". I was taken back. It was bluesy. It was a bit gritty. It was AH-MAZE-ING.

Kara is getting on my nerves. She tries to make witty remarks, but apparently she doesn't "test drive" them before letting them loose on national television because they either don't make sense or they're just downright stupid. Either way, she needs to stop.

Not everyone can pull off the white suit. Oh no, they can't. But leave it to Adam to try. That Adam is gutsy. On a sidenote, Jamie Foxx might be my favorite mentor ever. If Queen had ever put out a version of "Feeling Good", that would be how it would sound. If Queen ever wants to put out a version of "Feeling Good", Adam can help you out. I didn't hate it. And incidentally, Adam's tie bar was in a much better position. If you're keeping up with the tie bars. Which I'm sure you are. Ahem.

My prediction is either Allison or Matt goes home. Really, it doesn't matter. I don't think either of them has much of a shot at winning anyway. Kris, Danny and Adam should be the top three. Period.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

American Idol, Top 7 ...Again

And this one shall be called "The One With No Mentor, Because Really How Can You Top Quentin Tarrentino?" Because, really, can you top Quentin Tarrentino as a mentor on a singing show? I think not!

Lil Rounds started out the show with Chaka Khan's "I'm Every Woman" in a black catsuit. Oh, yes she did! The booty was out there. I thought she did a good job, but the judges hated her, and I honestly thought she was going to run crying from the stage. It was a little weird that they went straight from Ryan saying "This is American Idol' in his oh-so-dramatic voice straight into Lil singing. Apparently, Fox realized how ignorant it was only having two judges speak per contestant, and they are looking for other ways to cut time. It didn't do Lil any favors. Can you say awkward?

I'll take American Idol for $100, Alex. The answer is: "The last song you'd expect Kris Allen to sing on disco night." Oooh, ooh, I know...."She Works Hard for The Money" by Donna Summer! Yet he did, and I mean He. Did. He did an acoustic version, it was risky, and it was awesome! Who would've thunk it? Dudes, I think he has a chance of going all the way.

Seriously, I like any song that starts out sounding like Shaft. Period. Danny Gokey rocked it with Earth, Wind and Fire's "September". I loved the Knight Rider look he had going on and the stubble. And he had his glasses back tonight. I honestly think it helped his performance. If you can improve upon perfection...

Oh my, the Apocalypse is upon us. Vince Neil is in the audience on disco night on American Idol. I got one word for you, "Why?!?"

Allison chose "Hot Stuff" and put a rock spin on it. I was once again distracted by her choice of attire. A herd of cows gave their lives for that outfit. That, or a herd of naugahyde 70's couches. And a bedazzler, which I guess is fitting for disco night.

I actually enjoyed Adam's version of "If I Can't Have You". I know, will wonders never cease? There was no screeching or Spinal Tap's screams. It was understated and nice. I like nice. You know what was not understated? That giant snake pinky ring. Nope, not understated at all. As a side note, could his friends and family have gotten any more dressed up? I mean, really, it's just national television. By all means, put on your best shorts and t-shirt.

I think Matt's outfit was more punk than disco, but I'm not faulting him for that. I thought he did a bang-up job on "Stayin' Alive". Can you really get more disco than the Bee Gees? I hope it was enough to save him.

Paula was full of odd analogies tonight. Or maybe Paula is just odd. Yeah, that might be it....

Anoop closed out the show with "Dim All the Lights", a 5 o'clock shadow and a Pepto pink sweater. I'll bet he borrowed it from Randy. The vocals seemed a bit strained. I think I would have liked it better if he had kept it slow the whole way through. But that might have been a bit weird with the whole "Dance the night away" line. Ouch, Simon just didn't like anybody tonight.

I'm guessing the bottom three will be Lil, Anoop, and Allison, with Lil and Anoop going home. But honestly, at this point, I'm just pulling stuff out of the air (or some place a little lower that I just couldn't bring myself to type.). All I know for sure is that Danny and Adam will be the final two and Kris should round out the top three.

Shots are Bad

I am insane. I know that is not a shocking statement to anyone who knows me well, but I felt it needed to be said. I made appointments for both Abby and Grayson to have their check-ups today. And shots. So, clearly, I am insane. I thought I could handle it. I had even talked it over with Abby. I explained how she had to have the shots before she could start kindergarten. And how she had to show Grayson how a big kid handles getting shots.

I knew there would be tears, possibly some screaming. I was prepared for that. What I was not prepared for the nervous energy Abby had that manifested itself in constant chatter and rapid movements (I have no idea who she gets that from...It's not like I talk a lot about nothing at all. Ever.). Nor was I prepared for Grayson getting so upset at Abby getting so upset over having her shots. He might have cried more over her shots than his own. He, however, bounced back much more quickly than she did. Abby is still limping around. On alternate legs, since she did get shots in both legs. Nice.

And for the record, I probably will not attempt this again...

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Football = Confusion

Burge went to A-Day today to watch Alabama scrimmage. Abby and I watched it on ESPN. Abby only asked where Burge was at in the stadium 15 times. I was impressed. After the game, we went to pick up some supper and on the way home, this conversation ensued...

Abby: "When will the football game be over?"

Me: "It is over, baby."

Abby: "Is it over at home or where Daddy is?"

Me: "Both, it was the same game."

Abby: "Was Daddy playing in the game or just watching it?"

Me: "He was just watching."

Long pause...

Abby: "I don't get football, Mommy."

Me: "Most women don't, baby."

I'm glad she's learned that lesson young.

Thursday, April 16, 2009


I thought about posting about Easter on Easter, but why throw everyone off by doing things in a timely manner? That's just so not me. So, it's now Thursday after Easter, and sufficient time has passed for me to write about it.

The kids got to hunt eggs Saturday at a small egg hunt at the local Methodist church (yeah, we crossed the line....the Baptists hunting eggs with the Methodists...breaking down walls, it's what Easter is all about, peeps.) I should clarify, Abby hunted eggs and Grayson wandered around and climbed on things, occasionally picking up an egg. And God bless my tender-hearted little Abby, she kept giving her eggs to the other kids because she said she wanted to make sure everyone had some eggs. Yep, she makes her momma proud!
Here is Grayson actually picking up an egg...
However, I couldn't convince him to actually place one in the basket...
Abby was far more concerned with giving out her eggs than finding the most. Not a competitive girl, that Abby.
And, I must say, that makes me pretty happy. She was very content with what she had.
And here they are, ready for church Easter morning. I had to forgo the outdoor pictures since Grayson had a white outfit. Silly me, I actually wanted it to still be white when we got to church. And yes, I know it was fifty degrees outside and he is wearing shorts and sandals. One year, I'm going to get long-sleeved Easter outfits. And that, I'm sure, will be the year that it's 80 degrees on Easter.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

American Idol, Top 7

This one is titled "Seriously, Quentin Tarrentino as a Mentor?? When Did They Start Allowing Blood and Guts on American Idol?" Does Quentin Tarrentino have any qualifications to be a mentor on a singing show? Yeah, I didn't think so. I know as much about music and singing as he does, and let me clarify, that is not a lot. Now, if there is ever a contest about blood and guts, and they need a mentor, Quentin is their man.

I don't think there has been a movie theme night where someone did not sing Aerosmith's "I Don't Want to Miss a Thing". Tonight was no exception. Going first is never easy, and the votes usually reflect that. That aside, Allison did a pretty good job with it. I still like her voice. I still question her fashion sense. I still think she's on the edge, and not in a good way. Simon said she was the girls' only chance to win it, and while that might not be impossible, it is a bit far-fetched. This is most definitely the guys' season.

I love Bryan Adams. I don't particularly care for "(Everything I Do) I Do For You", if only for the fact that every wedding I attended in the early 90's had this song somehow integrated in it. It conjures up images of big hair, big shoulder pads and big white bows on the butt of big white dresses. *shudder* That being said, I totally loved Anoop doing it. I liked it so much, I didn't even pay attention to what he had on, so I can't make fun of it. Darn! Maybe I need to rewind...

Of course, Adam is doing a song from Easy Rider. And of course, it's "Born to be Wild". Really, can anyone think of a better song for him? Here's the deal with me and Adam...I readily admit the boy can sing. Whole-heartedly. And yes, he has a freakishly unnatural range. And the freakiness frightens me just a bit. But here's the thing...I just don't like him. For whatever reason (like the screeching that is dangerously close to being only audible by dogs), he just does not float my boat. Now, can he be successful without my support? I'm pretty sure that's a yes. My opinion and a nickel will net you 5 cents, after all.

Have I mentioned that I love Bryan Adams? Maybe there should be a Bryan Adams night! American Idol should take note of that. Anyhoo, Matt Girard sang "Have You Ever Really Loved a Woman?" from Don Juan DeMarco. Great song from a great movie. Matt, however, did not have a great night. It was not his finest hour, or 2 minutes as the case may be. And that pains me, because I really like Matt Girard and his Justin Timberlake-Michael Buble vibe.

Danny Gokey did not have his glasses on tonight, which threw me off. Especially because he had on some really cool ones during his intro. But he did have on a snazzy Miami Vice blazer and white shoes. Very Easter-ish, only without a bonnet. Thankfully. He sang "Endless Love". The verse was not so good; the chorus was very good. I love Danny Gokey. End of story.

What was the little dance Randy was doing with Simon when they came back from the break? Apparently, his colorful blue sweater was making him a little sassy tonight...

Oh my word, I loved Kris Allen tonight! He sang "Falling Slowly", and I thought it was the best performance of the night. Randy did not like it, but I think he might not could hear over his loud sweater. I'm just saying...

No, say it ain't so! Lil Rounds is not singing "The Rose". Y'all, it is not an exaggeration in the least that I want to gouge my eyes out when I hear this song. I mean, it makes my ears bleed, which I'm sure Quentin would like. I love the movie Beaches, but I hate this song. **Edited -Okay, so it was pointed out to me (nit picky as it was) that "The Rose" was not from Beaches, but rather The Rose. So, I'm not up on my Bette Midler movies. Is that really a bad thing? Now, I have no reason to even try to like this song. ** I don't think there are words strong enough (at least, not in my vocabulary) that can adequately express my dislike for this song. And honestly, when I heard those first notes, I had to go to my happy place. So, basically, Lil could have come out and sang the heck out it, and I would have hated it. I don't think she did though, and she might be in trouble.

I'm going with Lil, Matt and Allison in the bottom three, with either Matt or Lil going home this week. I gotta say I hope it's Lil...

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

American Idol, Top 8

Tonight's episode will be renamed "The One Full of Songs From the Decade I Love" with the subtitle "And I Realized I am Really Old". I knew that I would love when the theme was "the year you were born" because there would be lots o' 80's music. And I love 80's music. It takes me back to a time of big hair and synthesizers, and I love it. It also made me feel old. I might need some therapy now...

In case I haven't mentioned it, I love Danny Gokey. Really, I do. He is awesome. However, I was not too keen on a disco version of "Stand By Me". That song reminds me of Wil Wheaton and River Phoenix, railroad tracks and leeches in bad places. It does not remind me of bell-bottoms and disco balls. But, I still love Danny Gokey.

Kris Allen jazzed up Don Henley and "All She Wants to Do is Dance". He was working the crowd, playing the guitar. Kinda big band, but I liked it. The judges, not so much. And I don't really have much else to say about it, so I guess I didn't like it so much after all.

Can I just say I loved Lil Rounds' shoes? And the fact that she worked the stage in said shoes is nothing short of impressive. I thought I would really like her singing Tina Turner. It seemed like a good fit on paper. It just really didn't translate well on the stage. Go figure. But she looked good.

Yo, Anoop's parents dressed him kinda funny as a kid. And well, he's in a lime green Mr. Roger's sweater so I guess some things never change. But dude, I loved him singing "True Colors" with the R&B flair. Very original, much like that sweater. I heart Anoop, even if he dresses funny.

Scott MacIntyre brought some Survivor and an electric guitar. Now, I am all over 80's hair bands. I mean, all over them. Love them. Totally. But I just wasn't feeling "The Search is Over". But with the Greatest American Hero hair and the tapered metallic pants with the black racing stripe down the side, he absolutely looked the part. His shirt was untucked, but I bet if it was tucked in, you'd see those pants had pleats. Sweet...

Allison Iraheta was born in 1992. You know how old I was in 1992? I'll tell you, 15! I am almost double her age. And seriously, of all the songs she could have chosen, she picked Bonnie Raitt's "I Can't Make You Love Me". Now, I love that song, and she did a really good job vocally on it. But Bonnie Raitt was in her 40's when she recorded that. Allison is 17. Do you see the juxtaposition there? It was too old for her. And yes, I realize that I am basically calling myself old, hence the subtitle of this episode.

Ryan Seacrest is making 2009 the year of the tie bar. Loving it!

"Part-Time Lover" was one of those songs that I loved as a kid, but really had no idea what it was about. You know, me and my little friends would run around at recess and sing it because it was on America's Top 40 with Casey Casem, but we had no clue what it meant. Actually I think I just figured it out a couple of years ago... Anyway, Matt Giraud BROUGHT IT tonight with the Stevie Wonder. And he was looking so suave with his leather Member's Only jacket and chill hat. He's one cool dude. Like, totally.

Okay, keeping it real, my DVR cut off before Adam Lambert's performance, so I had to spend hours scouring the internet to find it. Not really. It took like 10 seconds on Google, but it was still irritating. Fox, why can't you keep it in an hour?

So, anyway, Adam's parents are so normal looking. I don't know what I was expecting, but it was a bit disconcerting. Tears for Fears seemed right up his alley, but I was already fooled by that with Lil, so I was wary. It was understated, which was hard for Adam, I think. I didn't think it was all that, but Simon gave him a standing ovation, so maybe it lost a little something, going from a 42 inch TV to a 6 inch box on my laptop.

The bottom three will probably be Scott MacIntyre, Lil Rounds and Kris Allen (still a Kris Allen fan, but going second with a not-so-great performance will land you in the bottom). It should be Scott's week to go, although this might be the shocker week...