Tuesday, September 29, 2009

How to Break Up with a Morning Show…Step 1

This morning I was folding sheets, which incidentally is my most abhorred laundry task. Seriously, I hate folding sheets more than matching socks, and that, my friends, is saying a lot. It should be a relatively simple task. 3 beds X 4 pieces per bed = 12 pieces to be folded. But those fitted sheets! They are a thorn in my side. And don’t send me any links to Martha showing me the “easy” way to do it on YouTube. I’ve seen it, and I still can’t get them to fold neatly.

Anyway, I digress. As I folded the demonic fitted sheets, I had the Today show on. The Today show is my morning show of choice. I really like Meredith and Al and Matt, most of the time. I trust Dr. Nancy Snyderman almost as much as my own doctor. But today, I got a wee bit irritated with my friends at the Today show. They had a lady from Southern Living on showing creative ways to decorate with pumpkins. And they were a bit condescending to her, almost making fun of her at times.

A lady from THE Southern Living. Making fun of her. On TV.

Now, there are two staples in any southern lady’s library: the Bible and Southern Living. Both have stood the test of time, and both show us the proper way to live, albeit only one with the creative use of pumpkins. And you don’t mess with either one of them. Period.

You northerners can take your Martha and her fancy way to fold fitted sheets (THAT DOES NOT WORK!), and we’ll keep our tried and true Southern Living. Because we want to know how to make a dip bowl out of a pumpkin, how to host an elegant dinner party with barbecue as the main dish (Have you ever had barbecue, Martha?) and where the best bakery is in Rome (as in Georgia, folks).

And Today, I’ve got my eye on you. That’s strike one. Two more and I’ll be moving on to Diane and Robin. Consider yourselves warned.

Monday, September 28, 2009

I’m a loser…

I’m a loser.  There, I said it.  I’m a big ol’ fat loser.  Not to make excuses as to why it is I have not written anything in over a month here (for the 4 of you that noticed and the 2 of you who care), but this “mommy gig” has gotten hard lately.  Abby started school, and things fell apart around here.  We had a pretty good schedule going on (and we all know how much I like schedules), and then Abby had to go and want to get all educated and our schedule got shot to you-know-where. 

And a month later, that’s still pretty much where it is.  In theory, having only one child at home during peak performance hours should make things easier.  However, not so much when the aforementioned child likes to have me in his line of sight at all times.  Not to mention I have to schedule everything around dropping Abby off and picking Abby up.  Now that I think of it, if I spent as much time being productive as I have analyzing why I am not productive, I would probably be getting more stuff done.  But then I wouldn’t have this fascinating post to write.

So anyway, last week was better.  If this week improves as much, I should be back on track in no time.  But I make no promises, because after all, I am a loser.

In other news, you might have noticed my fancy new background and header. Yeah, I did that myself. Not that I’m bragging or anything, because let’s face it, it’s not that great.  But it was my first attempt, so be prepared to see more changes.  And please, don’t shy away from telling me if it’s a big, hot mess.  Most of the time I have to work on such is the wee hours of the night (see the above scheduling problems), and I do not think all that clearly or objectively at those times.

And now, because I feel like if you haven’t written a post in a month, there ought to be some pictures thrown in.  Here are some random pictures of Grayson with his new “big boy” bed and Abby at my first chaperoning field trip, Farm City Day.

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He’s pretty proud of it…and this might be the last time it was made.  Just keepin’ it real.

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Really, anywhere that “blankie” is, Grayson is pretty comfortable being there too.

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Abby got to feed a calf.  Yes, the child who is afraid of a weenie dog will give a bottle to a calf.  Go figure.

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These two pictures show the unfortunate phenomenon of squinting even when the sun is not out. 

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Indeed, she was not giving me the stink-eye because she didn’t want her picture made.  She just had a bad case of the “squints”.

So, there you go.  A bunch of random thoughts and pictures.  Consider it a brain dump for the blog.  Glad you could be a part of it.