Tuesday, September 29, 2009

How to Break Up with a Morning Show…Step 1

This morning I was folding sheets, which incidentally is my most abhorred laundry task. Seriously, I hate folding sheets more than matching socks, and that, my friends, is saying a lot. It should be a relatively simple task. 3 beds X 4 pieces per bed = 12 pieces to be folded. But those fitted sheets! They are a thorn in my side. And don’t send me any links to Martha showing me the “easy” way to do it on YouTube. I’ve seen it, and I still can’t get them to fold neatly.

Anyway, I digress. As I folded the demonic fitted sheets, I had the Today show on. The Today show is my morning show of choice. I really like Meredith and Al and Matt, most of the time. I trust Dr. Nancy Snyderman almost as much as my own doctor. But today, I got a wee bit irritated with my friends at the Today show. They had a lady from Southern Living on showing creative ways to decorate with pumpkins. And they were a bit condescending to her, almost making fun of her at times.

A lady from THE Southern Living. Making fun of her. On TV.

Now, there are two staples in any southern lady’s library: the Bible and Southern Living. Both have stood the test of time, and both show us the proper way to live, albeit only one with the creative use of pumpkins. And you don’t mess with either one of them. Period.

You northerners can take your Martha and her fancy way to fold fitted sheets (THAT DOES NOT WORK!), and we’ll keep our tried and true Southern Living. Because we want to know how to make a dip bowl out of a pumpkin, how to host an elegant dinner party with barbecue as the main dish (Have you ever had barbecue, Martha?) and where the best bakery is in Rome (as in Georgia, folks).

And Today, I’ve got my eye on you. That’s strike one. Two more and I’ll be moving on to Diane and Robin. Consider yourselves warned.

1 comment:

  1. Glad to see you are posting again!

    Can I just plug Diane and Robin for a minute? They put the Deen bros and their Mama on pretty regularly, so I'm just saying... I divorced "Today" a long time ago.


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