Sunday, January 24, 2010

A Nature Lesson Gone Horribly Wrong

Yesterday, while Burge was making sandwiches for the kids for lunch, I was in the dining room getting something out of the buffet. I happened to glance out the dining room window and saw a bird on the windowsill. It appeared to be taking a nap. Now, if you know me at all, you know that birds and I don’t mesh well. I think I must have had some kind of traumatic experience with a bird in my childhood that I have blocked out. In short, I don’t like them. At all.

But for the sake of education, I put my dislike aside for a little nature lesson. I quietly called the kids over to observe the sleeping bird. This was the moment that I started to question the bird’s, how do I say this, aliveness. A 6 year old and a 2 year old don’t do anything quietly. And yet still the bird never moved. I raised the blinds. Not a flinch. Yep, I had my kids oohing and ahhing over a dead bird.

Thankfully, Burge called them to eat lunch and spared me from having to explain then about why the bird was so still. Abby did ask later why the bird was still there, and I explained as gently as I could that he had gotten too cold and died. She then asked why the millions of crows in our yard were still alive, and I just had to be honest. I told her that apparently they were smart enough to find a warm place to ride out the cold weather instead of perching on a window ledge out in the middle of the elements.

I kind of feel like we need to have a little funeral for the poor bird. You know, read a little scripture out of Ecclesiastes and give it a proper burial. If only we could figure out how to get it down off the two-story window ledge.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Saturday Randomness

Here are just some random thoughts to close out the week…

  • I am oh-so-glad that it’s January, and TV goodness has begun once again. Between the Bachelor, 24, the Biggest Loser, etc. my social calendar is filled, my friends.
  • Speaking of television, two weeks into a Paula-free American Idol, and I haven’t missed her. At all.
  • One more TV bit, I am once again sucked into Celebrity Rehab. If you need another reason to say no to drugs or just need a reminder that folks still need Jesus, you should really check that show out.
  • Three weeks into the new year and I’m still on the exercise bandwagon. And, hold on to your hats, I’m not hating it!
  • Also, I tried out the Biggest Loser Cardio Max DVD this week, and apparently I have not grown any coordination in the last 20 years.
  • I started reading Charlie and the Chocolate Factory to Abby this week. Pure torture for someone on a diet. Pure. Torture.
  • My son, who just began speaking a language that we can understand a few months ago, can count and recognize his numbers from 1 to 6. When did this happen? For all those “experts” who say kids can’t learn from watching television, I have a 2 year old that can recognize his numbers that can prove you wrong. (And just so you don’t think I am against trying to teach my kids stuff at home, I’m not. I just generally think it’s a good idea that they first have a good grasp of the English language, which Grayson has not quite mastered yet.)
  • Peopleofwalmart.com has forever changed the way I shop at Wal-Mart (which is not very often anymore). It has helped with impulse buying though, because I am constantly looking for strange looking people. And, incidently, YOU DON’T HAVE TO LOOK FAR.

Hope you all have a great Saturday! I plan to spend the majority of mine in my pajamas.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Oldies but Goodies

Here’s a deep, philosophical question for you to ponder: Does one become an old-fogey overnight or is it a more gradual process? Because I think I’m there, I’m just not sure how I got here.

I came to this stunning, and rather depressing, realization today while riding in my car, when I discovered I now almost exclusively listen to the oldies station. Why, you ask? Because music today? It’s nothing but noise. (Do I sound like anyone’s Paw-Paw yet?) The keyword here in distinguishing me as an old-fogey is “exclusively”. Burge argued that he’s been listening to the oldies station for 20 years now. But not exclusively. I will flip through the other stations, just to see if there’s a song on that I know. But nine times out of ten, I wind up back on the oldies station.

This is a slippery slop I’ve embarked upon. What is the next step? Will I soon (and this thought makes me break out into a cold sweat) start listening to country music? Shudder. How much longer will it be before I think hymns are the only music God appreciates? Oh, the agony of it all. Pardon me while I turn up my hearing aid. Soon, I’ll be driving with my blinker on continuously and stopping at green lights.

Yep, it’s all downhill from here. It stinks getting old.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

The Snow that Was

Normally, in the south we have the snow that wasn’t. You know what I’m talking about, the weather people hype it up, everyone rushes to the store to stock up on milk and bread (Why?!? If I’m facing the possibility of being stuck in my house for several days, milk and bread are not going to be top on my list. Give me Pop-tarts, Doritos and Coke.) and then the snow is a no-show (Say that 3 times fast).

But last week, we had the SNOW THAT WAS! And thank the Lord, because the school system decided on Wednesday to let school out at lunch on Thursday and cancel it on Friday. It would have been a huge bummer to burn a weather day with no snow.

Now, mind you, we did not reach “blizzard’ level accumulation. We were more on the heavy end of “dusting”. But what it lacked in quantity, it made up for in endurance. It is now a full 5 days since the snow fell, and it's still hanging on.

Really, though, it doesn’t matter to kids if there’s a quarter of an inch or two feet. Snow is snow. And all Abby cared about was making a snowball.

Jan 2010 001

Here’s the family, two of which were walking in snow for the first time…

Jan 2010 003

Abby got to make her snowball after I nailed her with one. Momma shows no mercy. And Abby needs to work on her aim.

Jan 2010 002

You can see our quarter of an inch of snow in all its glory.

Jan 2010 004

Meet the boy who refused to wear mittens.

Jan 2010 005

Abby and Grayson really enjoyed it which is good considering that might be the only snow they see for a very long time.

Friday, January 8, 2010

The one where I reveal just how much I need therapy…

Let me just go ahead and get this out of the way… ROLL TIDE!

If you live under a rock do not follow college football, there was a little thing last night called the BCS National Championship Game between Alabama and Texas. And we won it. I say we, because clearly Bama couldn’t have done it without me.

It was a close game. That might be a wee bit of an understatement. But that brings up one of my many (and I do mean many) neuroses. I cannot watch a close football game. I don’t mean it makes me nervous and I have to cover my eyes in parts. I mean, I physically cannot be in the room where a really close football game is on. It is so bad that we had to take this into account when Burge and I were trying to decide what game to go to this season. I might have had to leave the stadium if we were at the Tennessee game. It killed me that we watched the Auburn game in a small condo in the mountains, because I had NOWHERE TO GO. I couldn’t get away from it.

But back to last night. After the second play of the game, which incidentally included Alabama’s quarterback, Greg McElroy being sacked, I knew I was not going to be able to watch the game. So, while Burge sat in the living room watching the Tide roll to their 13th National Championship, I was in the bedroom catching up on General Hospital. Burge came and gave me periodic updates.

I did try to watch it at some point in the third quarter, while the score was 24-6. But then there was a touchdown and an on-side kick by Texas, and I started to think that perhaps my watching was a bit of a jinx, so I went back and watched Celebrity Rehab (which, as an aside here, is going to be outstanding this season, I think). I saw the last 2 minutes, so I did get to witness first-hand the Gatorade bath of Nick Saban, which quite obviously did not make him a happy camper.

There is an exception to this quirk. If we, for some reason, have to pause the game or are not watching it live, I can watch it as long as I can check the live score on the Internet. In other words, I’m okay if I know everything is going to work out in the end.

Lest you think this neurosis only applies to football, I do the same thing sometimes on reality shows. I’ll watch the end to see who wins or check the World Wide Web, then I’ll watch the show.

Yes, I realize that I clearly have some issues and probably could benefit greatly from therapy. But it’s a whole lot cheaper just to have an extra television for me to watch.

Pictures forthcoming from the “blizzard” of 2010, or the “snow-me, snow-me” as Grayson called it…